FIC: Under the Covers (Team Castiel/Dean/Samandriel)

[garrisonbabe]

 Summary: After a tough breakup, Samandriel decides to build himself a fortress from the world. This fortress just so happens to be a pillow fort. Castiel is a bit worried.
Word Count: 3,600
Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Samandriel
Pairings: past Inias/Samandriel, Castiel/Dean/Samandriel
Tags: College AU, Infidelity

[x]
Can I say that there's something wrong with this place?

I got time just to waste if you would be my new escape

So then I say "can't find a lover"

Well there's another way of pulling me under

Cause it's gotta be fate if we're under the covers

It's all gonna be a-OK

It's all gonna be a-OK, a-OK

❖❖

God, how did this even happen?

Weren’t they happy? Didn’t it mean anything to Inias that, stupid as it was, Samandriel was willing to work through this rough patch? Obviously not, since the rough patch turned out to be a leggy blonde with perky tits and a nice smile.

Samandriel sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to fend off a headache.  Where was Samandriel’s wish upon a star to turn this all around? He didn’t even need the whole bipity bopity boo, just a little cure all to ease the heartache would have been nice; and that was the thought that kept nagging at him… magic.  

Where was all the magic in the ‘real world’?  Why couldn’t everything be as simple as it was when he was a kid?  Curling up with Anna’s cat and avoiding doing his chores by hiding away from his mother sounded a hell of a lot better than the heavy sinking feeling in his gut right now.

Maybe things weren’t that simple anymore, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t pretend, even for just a moment. Just, instead of hiding from chores, he was hiding from the world, from pain. He wanted to block it all out, and that was when he spied his heavy comforter on his bed and ideas for a fort sprung up in his head. It seemed like such a good plan. It would be warm, comforting, private, everything he’d need for a minute or two of peace and quiet.

He used all the resources he had at his disposal to create his fortress. The best location for his fort was between the armchair and the wall, so that was where he started.

Stealing the cushion from the armchair, he added a third wall. For a roof, Samandriel pinned a cotton blanket to the wall and let it fall over the side of the cushion and armchair, allowing room enough for a person to sit beneath.

That wasn’t enough though. It was cold, too light, and after some deliberation, Samandriel stole his roommate’s summer blanket from under his bed; it wasn’t as if Castiel would miss it after all. He draped it over the pinned roof blanket and it had the desired effect. It shrouded the fort in a more cave like atmosphere. But it still wasn’t enough.

He pulled the blankets and pillows from his bed and the warmest clothes from his dresser and assembled them in his fortress. After some time arranging them, he had the effect of a nest: the pillows stood against the back, solid wall for more comfort, and the blankets and clothes lay all around him.

He pulled his blanket around his shoulders.

It was perfect. He breathed in, out, started to close his eyes.

He was on the verge of losing consciousness when he realized what blanket he had around his shoulders, stroked with his fingers. To anyone else, it was a normal sport’s team blanket. Only two people knew what it really was, and Samandriel was one of those people.

It had been a chilly day, and Samandriel had cursed himself for not factoring the weather when deciding to go to the last Knight’s game of the season. All he had was his hoodie, which was a poor mistake. He was about to leave when someone came up behind him and said, “Hey, you’re looking a little cold. Here.”

The stranger then wrapped Samandriel in his blanket.

“Aren’t you cold?” Samandriel’d asked him, and the man shrugged. “We’ll both fit,” Samandriel said, holding out an arm for the man to sit, which he did.

“I’m Inias,” he smiled.

“Samandriel.”

Seven months later, here Samandriel was, close to tears over a blanket.

It was taking just about everything that Samandriel had to keep from going out and buying a carton of Chunky Monkey to drown his sorrows.  Actually, it was the going out that was really holding him back.  If he left the apartment he could run into Inias and that was the last thing he’d wanted.  It was better just to bask in the darkness of the fort and avoid human contact for the rest of forever, thank you very much.

All that talk about how it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all was complete bullshit.  Just try telling that to Samandriel, now, and he’d throw all of his soggy tissues at you; his tears had long dried so he wouldn’t need them anymore.  

❖❖

When Castiel came back from class several hours later, Samandriel hadn’t moved much at all.  Cas really wasn’t expecting any improvement in his roommate’s mood though, to be honest.

The fort came as a surprise when it appeared two days ago.  Of course he’d asked Samandriel about it, it wasn’t like he could ignore the fact that some of his covers were a part of the construction of the fort.  But, the only response he’d received was a minute long, muffled tangent about how depressing it was that there was no ice cream, no magic, and not enough pillows.

Castiel was at a loss. He barely knew the kid apart from the fact that he paid his rent on time and he was dating that Inias guy. And at first he’d tried his best to comfort Samandriel; he offered to buy him a drink and at his roommate’s refusal, Cas had gone out and bought him some mint chocolate chip ice cream. Samandriel wrinkled his reddened nose but accepted the treat none the less.

“Samandriel, when’s the last time you went to class?”

“Fuck off.”

“Come on, you need to leave the cave and take a shower.”

“Fuck off.”

“Seriously?  You’re twenty two years old, and you can’t hide forever.”

“Watch me.”

“Don’t make me come in there.”

“You wouldn’t.”

Despite Samandriel’s denial, Cas pushed aside the blanket and stepped inside. It was much warmer here than even just outside, thanks to Samandriel’s body heat keeping it heated (if not a bit musky); Cas could see the appeal of staying there, forgoing classes, and shutting the world out. However, he had to coax his roommate out. This was not healthy by any means.

Still, Cas couldn’t just grab Samandriel by the shirt and force him out. He had to take baby steps.

“It’s nice in here,” Cas commented, looking around. Samandriel looked weary at Cas’ invasion, but he didn’t push him out. “Cozy.”

Against all odds, Samandriel’s expression turned into an even grumpier frown. Cas sighed.

“I understand,” Cas said, “That breakups can be tough. But I’m starting to worry about you. This isn’t a healthy way to cope. What was so special about Inias, anyway?”

Samandriel shrugged. “I loved him.”

Cas felt his heart break for his roommate, “well, he didn’t deserve you.” The move was awkward, but Cas knew Samandriel needed to be comforted, so he leaned over, ignored the smell, and wrapped the smaller man in his arms. “It’s going to be okay,” Cas told him. “And I’ll help you, one step at a time. Do you think you can take a shower?”

With a little reluctance, Samandriel followed Cas out and took a shower. Then, he went straight back to the fort.

Small steps, Cas reminded himself. He should have counted himself lucky he was at least able to get Samandriel to shower. He just hoped this luck would hold out until Samandriel finally decided to move on.

❖❖

The next day, Cas ordered a pizza with the toppings Samandriel specified and brought it into the fort. Cas hadn’t seen Samandriel eat much except for what he’d given him, and ice cream, while delicious, couldn’t sustain a man forever. Even though he wasn’t very good at small talk, Cas tried to fill in as much of the silence with conversation as he could, and while Samandriel didn’t input a lot, toward the end of the meal, he was behaving less antisocial than before, so Cas counted this as a success.

“Math isn’t my best subject,” Cas said, ripping off another bite. “I’m a history major; graphing polynomials won’t help much in my field.” Samandriel didn’t offer anything here. “Mr. Turner encouraged that I get a tutor. He’s already suggested a few people to me who can help.”

“Inias is majoring in number theory,” Samandriel said. “He could’ve tutored you.”

Today is just a bad day, Cas told himself. Samandriel will get better soon. He also made a mental note not to mention math again. The list of things that Cas had to avoid mentioning around Samandriel was growing.

He watched his friend worriedly as he threw his second, half-eaten slice of pizza back into the box.

❖❖

Cas really did like hanging out with Samandriel in the fort and over the next few days, it became something they shared instead of just something Samandriel hid in.

There was one problem, though.

“You know,” Cas started as he stepped through the entrance, “We should make this bigger. We can use my blankets, if you’d like.”

Although Samandriel seemed reluctant to tear down his careful work, he agreed that it was a little too cramped in the fort for two people and their regular box of pizza. Together, they widened the seating area, heightened the ceiling, laid out the blankets to re-create the nest, and lit up the darkness with a string of lights. At the end of the ordeal, Samandriel was smiling.

“It’s perfect.”

Castiel noticed that, aside from their bed covers and pillows, only one blanket was unused: a thick blanket adorned with their college team’s mascot and name. He decided not to mention it when Samandriel announced he was going to Goodwill, the blanket stuffed into a plastic bag.

❖❖

Samandriel had to admit that Castiel wasn’t as big of an ass as he’d assumed.  He was actually really sweet and funny.  And if Samandriel was honest with himself then Cas wasn’t half bad to look at.

The string of lights illuminating the inside of the fort cast a warm glow over everything and yet, they somehow made Castiel seem darker.  Shadows played over his features—did his hair always look so soft?—and Samandriel had to avoid eye contact to keep from getting lost in Cas’ bright blues.

“Things are good now, right?  That whole,” Castiel waved his hand absentmindedly, “broken heart thing.”  Samandriel nodded.  It’d been a few weeks since he’d thought about it actually.  He was focused on his classes now and looking forward to spending downtime in the fort with Cas.

“Inias who?”  He joked.  Castiel threw his head back in laughter and Samandriel couldn’t help but wonder how his stubble would feel scraping against his skin.

“That’s great.”  And that gummy smile stretching across Castiel’s mouth should have been illegal on the grounds that no man should have been that adorable.

❖❖

Cas was in the middle of finishing his homework when his phone vibrated, announcing a new text message.

Dean: when do u want to meet up next?

Cas liked Dean. He was smart, dynamic, and appealing in every definition.

Cas: Whatever time works best for you. My schedule, aside from my classes, is relatively open.

But Castiel thought that he might like Dean too much, which was an absurd problem, really. Liking a person shouldn’t be an issue, except here it was.

Dean: im free friday afternoon.

Cas: That will work for me.

Dean: and maybe after we can hit up a bar or have a burger. what do you say?

There shouldn’t have been guilt burning beneath Cas’ skin at just the thought that he could possibly have a good time with Dean, that they could date and be good for each other. But, Cas liked Samandriel too much, as well. He liked his roommate and his tutor, he valued them both so much, and he wanted them both equally, greedily. Castiel was ready to pull his hair out over the whole situation.  Samandriel was still reeling from his breakup, and Cas didn’t want to take advantage of his vulnerability; Dean was right there, beautiful, kind, and most importantly: available. The decision should’ve been easy, but Cas’ heart still ached, only half content.

Cas: I would like that.

❖❖

Dean’s hand was warm in his palm and his grip was strong.  Samandriel could barely hear Castiel’s introductions with the sound of his blood rushing so loudly in his ears.  Every feeling that he’d barely given a name to slipped out of his grasp and puddled at his feet.  A dark thought crept into his mind that this was how it was all going to end either way.  This wasn’t the movies; Cas wasn’t going to mend the brokenness in Samandriel only to fall madly in love with him and ride off into the sunset like some fucking cheesy rom-com.

“Nice fort,” Dean commented with a nod in its direction.

Samandriel found out that he was so much better at pretending to be happy than he thought possible.  He congratulated Cas on landing such a nice guy with a smile on his face even as his heart shattered and splintered.

He knew that with Castiel dating Dean, his roommate couldn’t spend as much time in the fort with Samandriel as he used to. And Cas had tried to keep his time as evenly split between the two as he could, but Samandriel could feel himself losing importance in Castiel’s life. He ate his dinners alone more often than not, and no matter how many blankets he shielded himself with, he always felt cold.

❖❖

“I’m really worried about Samandriel,” Cas confided in Dean over their textbooks, highlighters, and basket of fries.

“Your roommate?”

Cas nodded. “He was going through a bad breakup before you and I met, and I–I helped him through it. But now it seems as though he’s regressing. He’s in the fort when I get home, he doesn’t speak as much. He is going to his classes and feeding himself, though, but I’m still worried.”

“Hey.” Dean grabbed Cas’ chin to force eye contact. “He’s going to be okay.” Dean leaned over the table to kiss Cas assuringly, but before their lips could meet, Cas turned away.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas said, shame burning in his blood. There was such anarchy in him for denying that kiss, but he didn’t feel right receiving it while Samandriel’s heart still ached and Cas knew it was his fault.

Dean sat back. Cas expected his demeanor to be accusing or angry, but instead Dean was thoughtful.

“You want him or something?”

Cas knew the simple answer was yes. It wasn’t that easy, though. Yes, he wanted Samandriel, but he also wanted Dean, and it wasn’t right to want or care for two people in the same capacity. It was greedy of him and unrealistic for them all to come to terms with that fact and just be together.

So Cas went with a much easier answer. He said, “I care for him.”

“Care for him how?” Dean countered.

Cas wasn’t prepared to answer that question, so he asked one of his own. “Can you help me understand the abc conjecture?”

❖❖

“Hey, Ss- uhm,” Dean fumbled.

“Samandriel.”

“Right.  Sorry, it’s, heh, kind of hard to remember.”

“It happens.”

“So… what’s the deal with the fort?”

“Dean,” Samandriel sighed, "if you’re looking for Castiel, he’s at the library studying for midterms.”

“No, no, I know.  I just wanted to talk to you for a bit.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause you’re Cas’ friend and his roommate.  Plus, you don’t seem like a complete tool.”  Samandriel sniggered at that and shifted over to make room for Dean to come inside the fort.  

“I- I went through a bad break up and,” he shrugged, “I needed to escape for a bit.”  Dean nodded while scanning the details that made the fort such a comforting place, the well-worn and well-loved quilts that formed a nest of sorts, the old string of white christmas lights zig-zagging across the ceiling of the tent-like roof, and the stack of textbooks in the corner that Dean was sure was Cas’.

“That’s understandable. I usually just get drunk, but this seems less destructive. I—” Samandriel hadn’t realized the time, he was so caught up in Dean, and when Castiel came through the door announcing his arrival he had to watch his new friend bolt out of the fort.  He didn’t mean to, but he heard them; ‘Hey, Babe’s and loud smacking kisses.  Envy flowed through his veins and he had to swallow down the lump in his throat.

❖❖

“Dean you’re such a shit.” Samandriel chuckled at Dean as he gestured in wide sweeps with both of his hands about the time that he and his younger brother snuck out in the middle of the night to light fireworks in an empty field.  

“Dad was so pissed… but it was worth it to see Sammy let go like that.”

“Sammy?”

“‘S short for Samantha.” Dean smirked and Samandriel rolled his eyes, shoving Dean’s shoulder playfully.

That smirk and a shove lead to tossing pillows and totally manly giggles until feathers floated in the fort. They abandoned the pillows to use their bare hands, wrestling and rolling around in the nest of blankets.

"Dean!" Samandriel exclaimed with a gasp. "Stop it!"

Rather than give in to Samandriel's plea, Dean pinned him and said, "Make me."

Time seemed to float to a standstill as the last of the feathers came to ground. Suddenly, Samandriel was very aware that they were alone and that Dean's lips were only inches away.

Samandriel breathed heavily one last time before Dean's lips touched his.

All too soon after it began, it ended, and Samandriel was looking into the shocked green eyes of his roommate's boyfriend.

"Shit, shit, shit," Dean muttered, scrambling backwards. Samandriel was shocked still and couldn't do anything but watch as Dean quickly gathered his things and left.

When Cas returned later that evening and asked after Dean, Samandriel didn't say anything.

❖❖

The next day, Cas could barely understand his boyfriend when he burst into Castiel’s room, frantically pacing back and forth, and blurted, “I kissed Samandriel... I don’t know. We were talking in the fort and I’m sorry, Cas. It’s not an excuse—but it just happened.”

“Do you want him?”  Castiel asked and he got a sense of déjà vu.  But this time the guilt wasn’t his to bear, it was Dean’s.

“Yeah, Cas, I do. It’s selfish, but I want both of you," Dean confessed. Castiel nodded and pursed his lips in contemplation.

“It is selfish—it’s greedy to want that much,” he paused to look at Dean, frowning as he watched the green eyed man’s bottom lip tremble and before Dean could apologize again he held his hand, “I’m selfish too.”

❖❖

stupid stupid stupid  

Samandriel hated how soft and yielding the pillows and covers felt in his hands as he stripped away the fort.  He wanted it to hurt.  Everything else hurt so why couldn’t this?  

This whole situation was fucked up to begin with; watching Castiel and Dean together stung, but now the guilt of enjoying Dean’s kiss burned worse than the tears that blurred his vision.

❖❖

“Samandriel? Please come out. Dean and I would like to talk to you.”

“Fuck off.”

“No.  We’re not doing that again and if—If you would just come out for one minute and hear what we have to say…” Castiel wasn’t sure if the door would open. That could have been it, they could’ve lost everything before it even had a chance to begin.  

There was a thump and a muffled curse from inside the room and Dean had to slap a hand over his mouth to stifle his giggles. But the air took on a serious edge when the lock clicked and the door opened just a fraction. Dean was scrubbing a hand down his face; Samandriel had noticed that he did that when he was nervous.

“What?” Samandriel asked peeking out his room.

“We’d like, um, Dean and I…would love for you to have dinner with us.”

“Like… like a date?”

“Yeah,” Dean stepped closer to the door, “we fixed the fort,” Castiel and Dean both ignored Samandriel’s nervous shuffle at that, “and we bought pizza. It’s not much, but—”

“Yes.” And it really was just that simple.  

I don't want to do it alone

I'm beggin' you

I don't want to do it, do it, do this all alone